I am busy all morning with teaching or errands. He leaves for work at 230pm. He comes home at midnight. I used to stay up and try to see him when he got home, but I get up at 630 for Gabriel. I got so exhausted that I was falling asleep at the wheel at 11am and so physically tired that my arms shook all day, i couldn't clean or cook.
He invites his friend Mike over every weekend. I like Mike, but when he's over we have no privacy, my husband doesnt come to bed at night, and the guys take over the house. I cant watch TV unless we all like what's on. I cant play boardgames because they are video gaming or playing cards. I can cook, clean up, and play on my phone. That's it.
I had a dream last night that I was begging Justin to come play down with me. In my dream he told me he'd come only if I agreed to play cards, watch anime or have sex.
I am so unhappy.
I cry all day.
I am starting to think that my depression is circumstantial. When I'm out of the house, I'm generally alright. I have energy and enthusiasm. Within an hour of being home, it's gone.
