Ever since starting this journey, I have been working towards total honesty. One thing that has become obvious to me is that I'm not a Pagan anymore. I have lost faith. I still adore the mythology and love the holidays as they track the year and give me inspiration. I still think this is a terrific community to raise children within... but I do not believe in the sacred.
This has left me wondering if I should continue on with my In the House of Mama Stacey blog. I can pull off the Martha Stewart side of it, but can offer zilch as far as rituals or "magick".
I have gone so far as to consider selling off my many books and witchy items, but Justin says this is only a phase. I can give nothing to psychics. I don't believe in tarot anymore. I really think it is all observation and advice.
I feel better embracing psychiatry and science. I roll my eyes at just about every Pagan post that comes through my FB feed. I have cut myself off from Jan and no longer feel the need to hold rituals at the sabbats. I love celebrating the sabbats, but an altar and dinner is good enough for me.
I can't tell anyone, though. I don't want to make an announcement on my blog in case Justin is right. I don't know. I have no atheist friends to talk to. I really just want to vent and rant about all these religious idiots that make rules and condemn people and mutilate the world because of some outdated religious nonsense. I want to tell off people at Pride Day or people in my Pagan groups. I hate "woo". I roll my eyes at pictures of crystals and shake my head at requests for chants and lit candles when someone is sick.
Don't pray for me... help me. Get off your butt and help me.
