I Joined a Declutter group

So "hi!". I'm new here. I didn't realize until lately that a lot of my anger comes from being constantly undermined in my attempt to clean and organize my house (or the car or the shed or the yard...). I have that house that you visit and it's pretty tidy, but don't dare open a closet or drawer as it may not close again. In reality, we just have too much stuff. We are a family of 5 in 1600sqft. We homeschool, so 300sqft of that is dedicated to a classroom.

My husband is an electronics & video game collector (hoarder/addict) so we have about 20 full sized totes that are nothing but old wires/games/systems/desktops/controllers/etc. They work, but are value-less to sell and he's stuck on this idea that we will one day have a large home with a gaming den and he can set them all up.

His mother and grandmother are clinical hoarders. Grandmother's house was impounded and a it took weeks for an Ebay store to tag and move everything in their home. We have inherited 2 storage units worth of items from her after she abandoned all and moved to Florida. His mother's house is unlivable (she exists in 2 1/2 rooms and has a path to the bathroom) and loaded with dogs. She is a yardsale/fleamarket addict. Every time she comes to visit she has a car loaded with items for our children. They are nice items, but my children are overwhelmed. I now wait until she leaves and immediately garbage bag everything and take it to Goodwill.

My own mother is a gift-giver. She spends an easy $500 on each child. The items are very nice and often educational and high-end, but I simply have run out of room. I cull the kids' toys and clothes monthly and we still are cramped for space (the shed is FULL). I hate how all of my friends joke that I'm a hoarder when I try so desperately to keep things out of my house.

I will not say that none of this is my fault. I'm a shopping addict as well (thrift stores, so more "bang" for my buck). I have curbed myself greatly this past year, but the urge is still there. One fight with my husband and I'm bringing home 4 bags of rummage sale books. It is a journey for sure. This past year we got rid of a lot, we burned several pieces of furniture, old rugs, 4 boxes of papers. We donated 2 carloads of household items to a shelter for battered women. We sold all schooling items that our children outgrew... the river of items just keeps coming and all we are barely getting ahead.

Thanks for reading.

I came back to a closed door. But I can open others

I found my pills last night.  I have been off my wellbutrin since our trip to Cincinnati and it has been hell.  I have been eating to the point of vomiting.  I never knew how much they helped. 

I think my stress and anxiety are at a solid 8.  I am worried about money (always) and yet have this urge to shop uncontrollably.   I almost bought my son a $300 recliner this morning even though both cars need inspected and all the bills are behind. 

I logged onto Facebook while waiting at the food bank.  My OA group is gone.  Suddenly archived sept 22nd.  It was a great group.  I feel like there is no where else to turn.  But I know there is.  I reached out to Hayda to see if she knew of a different group.  She didnt have info, but even a few seconds of talking to another person in program helped. 

I tried to log into an online meeting while I waited in line, but it didnt start for another 30mins.  I am setting an alarm on my phone for the 6pm meeting.  Would be a good habit to go through while cooking dinner.  It may help me to plan healthier meals and get us back to the dining room table.

I also want to schedule YMCA time.  We have paid near $600 and never use it.  I'm thinking Thursdays after piano, but not certain that would work with Oliver (who I cannot have in the music studio). Hmmm.  Will have to think on it.