Video Blogging

I began working on a video project for a family member 2 weeks ago and have gotten more comfortable with talking at my phone.   I have been insired by other vloggers to perhaps try some of that here, on this journey. 

What Happened?

My mother's longest relationship, that I can remember, was with a man named Billy.  My introduction to him was that a strange dog woke me up while I was sleeping in my bed.  We did not own a dog. 

I scrambled to tell my mother about the dog only to find this strange man laying where she should have been.  She lifted her head long enough to tell me it was Billy's dog and to nevermind it.  I didnt even know my mom was dating someone.  She had never mentioned him and was always working, so she had either met him and slept with him that night (no judgement!) or had been leaving us home alone while going out.  I don't  know why this guy brought his dog over on a date??

Anyway, before I knew it we moved in with this man.  Changed schools.  I was miserable.  My brother got sick.  Really sick.  I had to go to his classroom and ask for his homework.  I ws in 2nd grade. 

I was stung by wasps.  I was ridiculed by family.  I was rejected.  I watched my first too-scary-to-look movie.  I started wetting the bed.  I tried to run away twice.  I tried to walk across a frozen lake to get away.  I had nightmares of the house being on fire and I went to my mother and screamed to wake her up but had no voice.  I had an inappropriate baby sitter who brought her boyfriend around whenever my mom was gone.  My only "escape" was to visit Pasty's house where her abusive boyfriend beat her with a sword in front of us and we were told to go outside all day long.  Where her friends told us they were going to play a Halloween game and turned out all the lights in the house and threw blankets over our heads and shook us, screamed at us, separated us, shut us in different rooms.  

My mom sent me away one summer.  Why would she do that if things were fine?  I was in 2nd grade, 7 years old, and I took a sudden interest in sex.  I remember my cousin and I touching each other.  That is WAY TOO YOUNG. 

I gained a startling amount of weight between 2nd and 3rd grade.  None of my clothes fit.  My glasses left dents in the sides of my head because I ballooned up so fast.