I'm not sure what exactly started it. I guess it was around the move to our new and beautiful house. I am not eager to escape my home anymore. I'm not nagging people to let me come visit or lets go to lunch or lets go shopping together. I am not eager to go to someone else's house for dinner. And so all those friends who I was using (or who were using me) have faded.
Val, the woman who sobs over how much she loves me and proclaims that we are "sisters" constantly (although I hate that with a passion) and hugs me (ugh!)... she has seen us once in 10 weeks. Granted, I haven't invited her out, but I understand that Fridays and Saturdays are the only option due to the distance to travel and school nights. I will try again.
I have had a best friend in Tonya for years. I was always visiting her various houses, living vicariously through her. I tried to keep my hateful judgments silent as I truly enjoyed hanging out with her family. Many in my life pointed out that she uses me. She has a problem and asks for help. I don't quite see that as "using" me, but it does get under my skin that she still has my mother's ladder and painting supplies. She has some of my gardening tools and if we ever forget Evie's clothing there, we must kiss it goodbye. But, we kept on. I would bring her food or household goods when they had none. I would bite my tongue when they announced a week later that they were going on a vacation. How the fuck do you not take care of basic necessities if you have the cash to go to Las Vegas???? Use $300 of that to make a stock pile of shit.
Anyway, ever since she started school, she has pushed me away. She only asks for my input on her school papers. She gets irritated if I won't write them for her.
