I got banned from FB for 24 hours yesterday. Not me, some drama between a woman and her mother-in-law. MIL reported all this woman's friends (who were posting rightly deserved sympathy about her husband's selfishness) for "hate speech".
I got depressed. Crazy frustrated. Over Facebook. Or a lack of Facebook.
I logged on this morning out of habit, even though I couldn't interact with anything. This first post was from the local MMA center. They have a weight loss challenge each spring. The Biggest Loser. I don't mind the name. It was a reality show back in the 2000s and I don't get triggered by that. What bothered me was the tagline they used this morning.
"Feeling gross?"
And yeah, I know people say that. I know I've said it. But having this place, some of the staff I know in real life and look up to (okay, maybe mini-stalked for a moment before I realized she's just a person and if we were meant to me friends it would have happened by now). I'm in a fragile place right now and when I read that, if felt like these people I admire were telling me I am gross.
Bothered me.
That's when it occured to me... I think Facebook is a bit toxic. I don't think I ever feel GOOD when using it. I don't ever come away feeling warm and happy. I mean, silly dog videos are fun, but I can get those elsewhere. I only ever come away from Facebook upset, offended, or feeling smug. I feel better than the other moms who have filthy houses in the backgrounds of their kid's pictures. I feel superior to the mom who is asking for woo-ish advice for their kid's fever when really, they just need to call urgent care. Even my OA groups are just full of people admitting defeat or expressing grief. It is emotionally draining!
I may only post in my co-op and other pages/groups and leave the rest alone.
Try a FB-free January? Maybe? I hope. The addiction is real. It's like gambling. You just keep scrolling hoping to read something or watch something that is worth the time you've just spent on the app. And the longer you spend, the more you scroll and search, desperate for something worthy of you. It never comes.
