I sent my sponsor my foods from today and she agreed that it is too much food. I didn't ask if she was talking calories/carbs/fat or whatever. In my gut I know it's still too much, even though I have cut my food intake to about half of what it was before OA.
I cut way back on my last snack and now I am awake. Wide awake since 1am with a growling stomach and a headache.
I could eat. I'm not on a diet. I'm not restricted like that. I could eat. But I don't want to start the habit of night eating. We had a long weekend and I had been staying up until 1 or 2am. I had pushed my last snack that far back and now my body is used to a dose of food in the middle of the night.
So I will lie here until it passes. A little water and some deep breaths. I will not die of starvation before breakfast.
“Breathe. You're going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you've survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They're painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you'll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.”
― Daniell Koepke
