I have an "apron". It is the cutie name for a panniculus. This is a layer and uneven sack of fat and stretched out skin which covers my abdomen. Mine, in particula, sags and hangs in from of my public region. It weighs a lot. My back is sore and the bone injured from the constant pull. My hips are arthritic over it. Standing is exhausting.
I have to sit on the floor when cleaning or putting away groceries. I sit on the couch to fold laundry. I get agitated when Gabriel asks me to come fix something on his xbox, because I have to stand so long. I have a hard time sitting on the floor because this 40-50lb sack of fat lays on my thighs and hips and causes my legs to go to sleep.
The other day, I was trying to reach something and the 4" depth of my apron made all the difference in reaching it. So, I manually lifted my stomach and set it on the counter to get closer. Not only could I reach the thing (probably food!), but there was instant relief of my back pain. This is pain that I've grown numb to as it is constant. But when it was gone? Instant relief! The moment I stepped away from the counter and allowed the apron to drop back down, I felt the enormous pull of my fat. I felt my vertebrae compress. I felt my skin stretch. It hurt everything.
So, now, when my back is aching, I stand in the kitchen with my panniculus resting on the counter.
This is the ridiculousness of my disease. These are the lengths I go to for relief from the effects of overeating.
I really hope that I don't die.
