My friends, Ben and Tonya, have taken in his cousin's children a few times over the years. Children & Youth has become involved repeatedly and last night the children ended up in their care yet again. It's bordering on serious. These little ones (7, 2, and 5mo) may end up living with Ben and Tonya for awhile.
I went over there today to meet them, offer support to Tonya (who is concerned and over-the-moon all once), and bring some baby supplies from our garage sale stuff. I ended up staying to rock the baby to sleep and wait with Tonya as CYS came by to visit. As the case workers arrived, the 7yo, a girl, woke from her nap and noticed. I don't know if she recognized them or if she realized what their visit meant. Perhaps she thought her mom would rescue her before the case workers got there, but whatever the case she hid under her blanket and sobbed. She missed her mom and called for her between sobs.
I don't know if it is my own mommy issues or if this has dredged up the fiasco and fallout of Karen's CYS case, or if I was simply having a strong empathic moment... but I found myself crying with her as she lay on the sofa. This 7 year old girl's heart was breaking and I could do little more than rub her back and cry with her.
After a bit, she sat up and dried her face. I told her that I knew things were scary and I was sorry she was so sad. I told her I could take her to see the caseworkers. They seemed mildly familiar with her. I told Tonya that she woke up sad and the little girl broke again, telling them she missed her mother. I couldn't take it. I excused myself to the hall as I began to cry again. They distracted her with a tablet.
I composed myself and sat on the sofa. She brought her tablet and blanket beside me and laid on me. She tried to show me her favorite videos and we didn't talk about the caseworkers anymore.
I pray that God or whomever looks out for this girl. I really don't think I believe in God, especially after reading about a boy starved and locked in a bathroom for a year. I don't believe that a omnipresent divine being would allow child rape or stillborn babies or women held captive for a decade by their rapists... no.
Anyway, this has been a rough eating day. I didn't binge, but I feel like I could and I feel the urge to over analyze my food plan or rearrange a room of furniture. Blarg!
